One April snowstorm and one spring vacation checked off the list over here in New York! It’s been another busy month at iBbeautiful, but we’re excited to be getting our April boxes shipped out.
I have to admit, I had a lot of trouble figuring out how to make one single blog post. Self-confidence seems like one of the most important things we, as parents, could ever teach our kids, especially our girls - and this month’s box was the first one we’ve created about it!
Of course, there’s a huge difference between being confident in yourself and being proud or egotistical. Hence the quote on our mission cards and t-shirts this month: wear an invisibe crown.
Because that concept really gets to the core of the question of self-confidence: it’s something from the inside. There comes a point in every girl’s life - multiple points, in fact - where she’s presented with a choice between doing what she wants or thinks is right, and what her circle of friends wants or thinks is right. She might very well experience times when she’s excited about something, and shares it with her friends and family, only to realize that they’re either entirely disinterested or they - unfortunately - use her passions to mock her.
Thinking about it like that, though, ends with us realizing that self-confidence isn’t in what she says; it’s in the choices she makes.
And what our girls do when they reach decisions like these - whether she follows along with what others think she should be like, or whether she acts with confidence about herself and her abilities - stems from what we, as moms, teach them.
It gets overwhelming to think about sometimes. Here we are, struggling to balance taking care of our kids, working, maintaining some sort of social life (through school activities or outside of them)... exhausted, frazzled, downright stressed.
But our girls are watching us, constantly - what we do, how we behave, what we say, what kind of confidence we project. Can I just ask: am I the only one a little bit terrified by this?
Thankfully, I’ve been able to find a lot of “how-to’s” out there to really help focus on some of the key factors involved in helping our girls stay confident. The big three that have always stood out to me:
Celebrate success. Whatever our girls are successful at, acknowledge it! Being able to take pride in more than just looks (something our media really, really likes focusing on) means you can give her something that will last a lifetime: confidence in what she can do. And who knows how she’ll end up using those skills later in life!
Address decisions together. This one is a bit more difficult. Making that transition from “my little girl” to “semi-independent tween/teen” is difficult for our girls and for us. But including our girls in making decisions around the house, including her in discussions, and - most importantly - breaking down how to make healthy decisions for herself and others will hand her the tools she needs to be confident in what she does.
Talk. Always, always, always. Keeping communication open is vital to any relationship, especially with our daughters. Encourage them to talk about what they’re doing and what’s big to them, no matter how trivial it might seem to you! Being supportive and understanding, even constructively critical, will keep her coming back to you.
It’s a lot to ask of us moms, but the rewards? Completely worth it. Because no matter how frustrating, how exhausting, or how completely overwhelming it can be to raise daughters - we love them dearly.
And setting them on a path to self-confidence is one of the best things we, as moms, can ever do for them.
Peace!-The iBbeautiful Team